Sometimes in life we can lose the things that mean the most to us. Sometimes we walk away from them because we think that the grass is greener and sometimes they can walk away from us for the very same reason, but what can you do when you find out the grass isn’t greener? What can you do when you walk away from something that actually made the world a better place? What can you do when you realize that you made a huge mistake and all you really want to do is turn back the clock?
Before you to get your ex back, you really need to think about the reasons behind you actually want them back. Sometimes when you start to miss an ex it isn’t actually because you want them back, it’s just because you miss having someone who you can share your life with. So before you do anything make sure that you actually miss your ex and not just the idea of your ex. You have to consider the fact that it isn’t just your feelings on the line, it is always theirs and if you change your mind once your pursuit has been successful then you could end up hurting them.
Making First Contact
When it comes to winning back your ex the first thing you have to do is make contact. A lot of people make the mistake of immediately going into trying to get their exes back but that is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. The first contact you should make with your ex shouldn’t be heavy with feelings and regrets, instead you should try be light hearted. You want to make your ex think about you in the way they did before you got together rather than reminding them about the way things ended. You have a much better chance of hearing back from them if you just simply ask them how they are and first contact is all about opening up those lines of communication again.
Don’t Force The Conversation
If you have opened the lines of communication but your ex isn’t replying very quickly or you are receiving short replies then don’t try and force the conversation forward at a pace they are not comfortable with. You don’t want them to think that you are only getting in touch because of your feelings. The best things to do if ask them how their lives are going now and how they are doing in general. It’s really important that if your chosen method of getting in touch is through email or text that you always end it on a question. Ending a message on a question will almost certainly get you a reply.
Remind Them of The Fun You
After you have made first contact you want to start reminding your ex of all the reasons why they got together with you in the first place. You don’t however want to make it obvious that you are doing this; instead you want to start mentioning things in passing. Remind them of the fun days that you had, remind them of any inside jokes you might have shared and so forth. This is kind of like positive reinforcement as they will be forced to remember all the good things that you both shared.
Suggest That You Meet
If you want to try and get back together with an ex then at some point you are going to have to suggest a meet up. The thing to remember here though is that you want to avoid suggesting that it is a date. Instead suggest it in such a manner that would say it is just a catch up. If they accept the offer then make sure you chose a casual activity such as coffee instead of something more intense. You want to take the opportunity to talk so make sure wherever you go is quiet.
Make Them Jealous
The simple fact is that if you have gotten this far then your ex clearly still has feelings for you and that means that there is still a chance for you two to work things out. The thing is though that your ex is very unlikely to act upon those feelings unless you give them a reason to. The last thing that you want to do however is rub something in their faces, instead you should mention a possible date in passing without making it a big deal. If you do it like that then you are putting a seed in their mind that other people are interested in you and that you won’t be available forever.
Give Them a Chance to Miss You
Once you have opened the lines of communication and you know for sure that they still have feelings for you it is time to draw yourself back from the situation for a while. At this point you have done everything that you can do and the only thing left to do is see if those seeds you have planted flower into a budding romance. This doesn’t mean to say though that you should completely cut contact. It just means you should wait until they get in touch first.
Getting back together with an ex can take a lot of work, especially if the break up was messy. The important thing to remember though is as long as your ex still has feelings for you, then it isn’t an impossibility. You do however need to think really carefully before you decide to break the ice and make first contact because if you do get back together and it doesn’t work out then you are not going to come off very well from that. As much as you might miss having them around sometimes you have to let them go, so that you can both move on to newer, happier things. If you know for sure though that you made a mistake and you want to fix that, then follow these steps and you will have them back in no time at all.