More than half of all the marriages carried out this year will end in divorce that unfortunately is just fact. It seems like it doesn’t matter how much love is there or how hard couples work at their relationships, there is something that just seems to break and when it does, it is nearly impossible to fix. The thing is though, that most marriages tend to fall at the same hurdles, but just like a hurdle, if you don’t see it coming, then you don’t have chance to prepare for it. So here are the 9 most common and overlooked threats, which you might face in your marriage.
1. Everything changes
When you say your wedding vows, you promise to love and cherish your partner forever, through richer and poorer and sickness and health. This promise is easy to make, but considerably harder to keep, as most people believe that the person they are marrying will be the person they will always be married to. The thing is though, that people change and when you make that promise, what you should be considering , is that you are promising to love this person through all their changes, no matter whether you like them or not.
2. Two people, stay, as two people
The idea of marriage and the reality of marriage are two very different things. The idea of marriage is that two people take their vows and their lives become intertwined forever. The reality of marriage is that two people take their vows and then they share their lives for, as long, as they can. All too often people think that marriage will somehow, magically turn two people into one and that is simply an unrealistic expectation that will come back to bite you.
3. Your baggage ways a ton
A marriage is a new chapter of your life, but that doesn’t mean that it is a fresh start. If your relationship had struggled under the strain of yours or your partner’s baggage, then it is unrealistic to expect that being married will change this. If you both want to avoid making the mistake of thinking that a marriage will wipe the slate clean, then why don’t you both have a frank and honest discussion before you take the vows. If you get everything out onto the table and make it through, then there is nothing left to come back to haunt you, once you have said I do.
4. There goes your ego again
It can be difficult to admit when you are wrong, because your pride doesn’t like to be stepped on. The thing is though, that a marriage is built on compromise and sometimes, you are going to have to push your ego aside and admit that you were in the wrong, even if you truly believe you weren’t. If you can’t do this, then you will find yourself in a constant battle with your partner and that isn’t how it should be. You should both be supporting each other, not tearing each other apart.
5. Perfection isn’t real
Everybody wants to believe that they will marry the perfect person and have a happily ever after of their own. The truth is that there is no such thing, as happily ever after. Everybody at some point in their marriage is going to have problems. People aren’t perfect and it is people who make or break a marriage and that is really important to remember. Instead of focusing on perfection and feeling defeated when you can’t obtain it, just focus on making things good and ensuring that you both are happy.
6. Walking in somebody else’s shoes
It can be really easy when a person upsets you, to only think about how it has affected you. The thing is though, that if you want your marriage to work, then you are going to have to be able to empathize with your partner. Yes, they might have done something, which has hurt or annoyed you, but why have they done it and what led them to it in the first place?
7. Balancing act
The world is seemingly always moving forward and sometimes it can be hard to find a moment, to just sit and rest. This means that whilst you are busy with work, social engagements and other diary fillers, you are cutting out a lot of time, which could be spent with your partner. If you are always busy and you never seem to get a chance to relax, then think about how your partner feels and whether you are actually giving them enough attention.
8. Who wears the trousers?
One of the biggest mistakes couples make in a marriage is going into battle for control. A marriage should have both partner’s having equal responsibility and control over their assets and general life to life events, however most marriages end up in a bitter battle for who can take the control. Don’t let yourself fall into this trap, as once you are in it, it can be impossible to pull yourself back out.
Many married couples chose to start a family, once they feel settled and secure. This is a great thing and it can bring countless happy memories and prideful moments, but it can also put a lot of strain on your relationship. It’s true that you should never put anybody before your children, but the same can actually be said about your spouse too. It is important, as parents to show a united front of for your children to know that you love your spouse in a different, but nevertheless, equal way to them.
Many marriages don’t fail because the people in them stop loving each other, but simply because they don’t know how to address and fix their problems. All too often things like communication are blamed for marriage failures, but how can you possibly communicate about a problem, if you don’t know what it is?