A marriage changes everything, when it comes to the dynamics of your family. The biggest change of course is that you have promised to honour and respect another person for the rest of your life and this means that you must put them first, irrelevant to the situation. You need to put your faith into their decisions and you need to place their needs, as your own priorities. Sometimes it can be easy to take your spouse for granted, especially when they are always there for you, but if you don’t learn to put your spouse before everybody else, then you might find yourself in a marriage that has some major issues.
1. Your spouse should always feel respected
Before you got married you might have asked your parents for advice about certain life choices. Your parents are always a good choice when it comes to good advice, as they always want what is best for you and they have probably been through similar situations themselves. After you get married it’s still okay to run things passed your parents, but when it comes to the final say, then it should be between you and your spouse. If you choose your parents advice over your spouse’s then this shows a huge level of disrespect to them and doubt in their ability to make good decisions.
2. You have dedicated your life to them
Marriage is a huge commitment, because you are taking responsibility for another person’s happiness and that is something, which shouldn’t be taken lightly. When it comes to marriage you need to ensure that you are always making choices that your spouse is happy about. If your spouse is unhappy with your choices then you are going to need to find a compromise. You might be tempted to call for backup in the form of your parents, so that your partner will listen to your side of the story, but this is something, which should stay between the two of you.
3. You need to have faith
If you find that you have been given conflicting advice about something, then you should always put your spouse’s above everybody else’s. If you have married a person, then you are trusting them to stay with you for the rest of your life, you are trusting them to be your partner in your new family and you are trusting them to possibly become the parent to your children, this means that you already have a lot of faith in them and this shouldn’t be a time when there is an exception to this rule.
4. You need to be growing together
Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes that, is something, which cannot be escaped from. That doesn’t mean however that all hope is lost, in fact, it means quite the opposite. A marriage a chance for two people to spend their years growing together and learning together, if you want your spouse to feel, as though they are growing with you, then you need to ensure that they feel, as though they are equal to you.
5. They are your family now
Your family are the people who will always be in your life. They are the people who you love unconditionally and who you forgive, always, even if they have done something to hurt you. This is what your spouse is to you now. All too often people see divorce, as an easy alternative to sorting out their issues, when in fact, what they should be doing is seeing their spouse, as they see the rest of their family. A wedding is the union of two families and that is something, which is often forgotten.
6. You need to get things wrong together
It doesn’t matter whether your spouse gave you some bad advice, or whether you gave them some. Sometimes we get things wrong and, as a married couple, you need to support each other through these failures, instead of scoring against each other. You need to make sure that you always put your spouse before your ego.
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7. You need to remain loyal, always
A good marriage is built on a solid foundation of not only trust, but loyalty too. If you are dedicating your life to another person, which is what marriage is, then you should be doing it wholeheartedly and completely. It isn’t fair to expect your spouse to be faithful to you, when you are not being faithful to them. If you want a marriage that can stand the tests of time, then you need to make sure that your bond of trust is never broken and that even if you make a mistake, you tell the truth and allow the consequences to happen without lies.
It can be easy to take your spouse for granted, especially after you have been married for a while. The thing is though that you spouse is the one person, who you should be appreciating more than anybody else, including your friends and your parents. Your spouse is the person who has promised to love you unconditionally without any ties forcing them to do so, they are the people who have agreed to care for you in sickness and in health and these are the people who have agreed to stand by your side, no matter what situation you might find yourself in. If there was ever a person who deserved to receive your full attention, then it is your spouse.
If you find yourself constantly neglecting your spouse, then you might find that one day, they stop caring too and when both of you have stopped caring, your marriage won’t have a chance of improving. A marriage takes constant work from both sides and if you are not willing to put in your fair share, then perhaps, you shouldn’t have dedicated your life to somebody. Being married means that you are willing to be selfless when it comes to your spouse and you should always remember that.