A relationship is based on two people connecting on an emotional and physical level, which means that a lot of your relationship is built on the way you feel and react to those feelings. Most people think that a strong and happy relationship should only have positive feelings, however this simply isn’t true. Life isn’t perfect and relationships are a part of life, which means that it isn’t always going to be a bed of roses and in matter of fact, it shouldn’t be. Negative emotions and feelings are just as, if not more important than the positive ones and if you are not feeling them, then you might want to ask yourself, whether the relationship you are in, is really right for you?
I know what you’re thinking, a relationship is meant to make you feel safe and secure, not afraid, right? Well, actually you are wrong, whilst a relationship should make you feel secure in the sense that you know your partner only has eyes for you, there should also be a certain level of fear. This fear should stem from the possibilities of losing your partner, falling out with them or even having to tell them something you know might upset them.
A strong relationship should make you happy, there is no doubt about that, but that doesn’t mean that you should be happy all of the time. The best relationships have a spark, which can often lead to arguments and intense talks, which can lead to unhappiness. This unhappiness doesn’t mean however that you are not working together, in fact, it means the opposite, as you care enough about your partner to become upset when they are.
Your partner should be the one person who you can confide completely in. They are the one person who you can totally strip back your walls for and let in. This can lead to the feeling of being naked, but that’s good, it means you are sharing your whole self with your partner. If you don’t feel like this, then that means you are keeping yourself from them and not letting them see the whole you.
There should always be passion in a relationship. That passion should be something that draws you both together and creates a bond, which keeps you together. The thing about passion though, is that it’s based on intense emotions and sometimes those intense emotions can flair up and cause arguments, especially if you both can’t find any middle ground to agree on. This doesn’t mean that your relationship has problems though; all good relationships should have anger in them, as this means the passion is still burning brightly.
One of the most important things about being in a relationship is the ability to put your partner’s needs before your own. This ability not only shows that you care, but that you care enough to put your own needs aside to accommodate your partners. The thing is though, that when you put somebodies needs before your own, it can often leave you feeling exhausted and drained. This is good though, as it means you are doing the best by your partner. It is important to remember however, that this shouldn’t be a constant feeling and that you need to take care of yourself too.
6. On the edge
Do you know that feeling you get when you are standing on the edge of a cliff? That feeling, which urges you to jump, just to see what it feels like to fall? That’s how your relationship should make you feel. You should constantly feel, as though, you are standing on the edge of a cliff. You should have a constant feeling of wonderment about what it might mean to jump in with both feet, because that’s what a relationship is, it’s a leap of faith, which is taken for another person.
Everybody has bad days, where they feel like they are ugly and not worth anybody else’s time. Everybody has days, where they wonder why anybody would want to be with them or want to spend time with them. It’s these days that are the important ones, it’s these days that show you that your partner isn’t just there for when you are at your best, but instead, they are there for you through the worst times too. If you never feel undesirable around your partner, then you aren’t showing them your complete self all of the time and this can lead to problems further down the line.
You know that honeymoon period in relationships, when you are convinced you will never get annoyed or upset at your partner? Well, that is going to end and if your relationship is real, then at some point you are going to get annoyed at your partner and this is a good thing. This means that you care enough about what your partner does, to be affected by it.
They say you should never let go of your inner child and this is especially true when in a relationship. A real relationship should feel you with childlike wonder and excitement, because of the unknown possibilities it holds. If you find yourself feeling more mundane than excited and childlike, then perhaps, you are not in the right relationship for you. If there is one thing a relationship should never become, then it is boring.
When you dedicated your life to somebody or give them your heart, then you are leaving yourself vulnerable to being hurt. This is a good thing, as it means you trust your partner enough to have the ability to hurt you, but to not do it. If you don’t feel vulnerable in your relationship then that means you are remaining guarded and a real relationship cannot be built around walls.
All too often people think that a strong and happy relationship can only be present when positive feelings are. This isn’t the case though, as negative emotions can actually have positive reasons behind them and if something seems too good to be true, then it normally is.