Relationships are impossible to get right all of the time. Sometimes we make mistakes and the only thing that we can do is try to make up for them. Sometimes those mistakes are fixable, but take time and other mistakes aren’t fixable and we end up losing the ones we love, because of them. The thing is though, that with hindsight we could have prevented ourselves from making those mistakes and breaking our hearts, along with the ones we loved.
1. Being unfaithful
Although we might reason with ourselves, when presented with a situation to cheat, we should never allow it to happen. If you cheat on your spouse then you are clearly not receiving the attention you need from them, but you have gone the selfish way about getting it. If you communicate with your spouse about the attention that you desire, then there is every chance they will give you it, if you however, chose to cheat on them, then they will more than likely have their hearts broken and won’t understand why.
2. Considering being unfaithful
Sometimes a thought might flash through our minds about somebody we have met or seen somewhere and there is nothing wrong with that. There is a difference however between occasional thoughts and full out plans to cheat on your spouse. If you have been getting close enough with somebody to consider cheating on your spouse, then you have already been emotionally cheating on them in the process.
3. No appreciation
It can be easy sometimes to take our spouses for granted. They are the pillar of our lives and they have become this by always being there when we need them. Over time this can become something that we just expect, without any appreciation for the fact that they don’t actually have to do it. When you have no appreciation for your partner, your mind and eyes can start to wonder and this is a sure path to being unfaithful on your partner.
4. Offloading your negativity
Life can be hard and sometimes we need to offload all the negativity that gets thrown at us. Our spouses are the people who are willing to share the load of our problems, so that we don’t have to carry them alone, but that doesn’t mean that you should give them more than they can carry. If you are only giving your spouse negativity then you are withholding affection and goodness from their lives and this is something you promised you wouldn’t do in your vows.
5. Being condescending
We all think that we know best sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that we are always right. It’s not fair on your spouse for you to constantly put them down or tear apart their beliefs and ideas. If you do this then you are being unfaithful to your partner by default, because you are not treating them in the way that they deserve.
6. Being selfish
We all like to put ourselves first on occasion, but that doesn’t mean that we can do it all the time. When we married our spouses we promised to both love and cherish them for the rest of their lives and that means you must be able to put your partner first. If you only want to think about yourself and your needs, then you shouldn’t have got married and you will be unknowingly destroying the person your spouse used to be, because you aren’t willing to spend time doing things that they enjoy.
7. Unwilling to compromise
If you want to be fair in your relationship then you must accept that your partner’s needs, will come before your own on occasion. You need to be able to find a way to be able to compromise without holding onto resentment or begrudging your partner the win. This is an essential thing in healthy and happy marriages and if you are unwilling to compromise then you are cheating your spouse out of a fair relationship and this can only lead to your relationship’s destruction down the line, when your spouse realizes what you have done and resent you for it.
8. Being unwilling to let go
There isn’t a person on this planet that is perfect, and before, you cast judgment on others, first look at yourself. If you constantly bring up your spouse’s past mistakes, as ammunition in arguments then you are not being fair and you are actually pulling your partner down, who has moved on from and learned from the mistakes that they have made. If you have chosen to stay with them after they made the mistake, then you must learn to live with it, without putting it on their shoulders.
9. Things being left unsaid
As much, as saying too much can be problem, so can saying too little. If your spouse does something, which annoys you then you need to be able to vocalize this, without being offensive or upsetting. If you can do this, then you can avoid any arguments and you can discover the way, which means you can be open and honest with your spouse on a new level.
It can be easy to fall into old habits, once we get used to being married. We know that our spouses have promised to love us forever and that can be easily taken for granted. The problem is though, that when you take your spouse for granted and only think, about yourself, you are putting the person you are supposed to love at risk of being seriously hurt.
You might not have realized that you are doing these things, but now that you know what they are, you should easily be able to spot when you doing them and prevent them from happening in the future. A marriage is something, which requires constant work on both sides and you need to be willing to keep up to your fair share of it. That is of course, if you don’t want to destroy your marriage without even knowing it!